Jokes

[Lapchik]

A man stumbles out of the Ace Cafe late at night, and catches the attention of the police officer across the street. The officer knows this area has been a problem and is looking for drunk bikers to arrest. The man falls down on the way to his bike, clumsily puts on his moto gear, forgets his keys are in his pocket, removes his gloves, puts the key in the bike, replaces his gloves on his hands, starts the bike, obnoxiously revs it, and then takes off. The officer pulls him over down the road a ways, and gives him a breathalyzer test. It registers 0.0.
"How is this possible?" the officer asks.
"I'm the designated decoy tonight." Replies the rider.

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Why bikes are better than your significant other

-It won't get mad if you forget its birthday
-You don't have to talk to your bike after you ride it
-Your bike won't wake you up to ask you if you love it
-Your bike won't leave you for a better rider
-You don't have to pay alimony to an ex-motorcycle
-If you say bad things to or curse at your motorcycle, it doesn't expect an apology
-If your motorcycle doesn't look good anymore, you can bolt on new parts
-If your bike makes too much noise, you can get a muffler for it
-If your bike smokes, you can do something about it
-Motorcycles always want to be ridden
-Motorcycles don't care how many other bikes you have ridden
-Motorcycles won't get upset if you go for a weekend ride on a different bike
-Motorcycles only whine when there is an actual problem